At my ballet school we recently finished our final ballet performance of the year, and for me and the rest of the seniors, the final ballet performance of our high school careers.
I just kept thinking about how I don't really remember much of life before I started dancing at this ballet school when I was six years old. It feels like I've always been here, and I can't imagine leaving.
But I am.
I could write five paragraphs about how the shows went. I could write about the props that were broken, the blisters that were endured, the stage that was slippery. I could write about the ballets themselves, or the dress rehearsals, and how everything went more smoothly than usual. All that was lovely. Instead, though, I'm going to write about something atrociously sentimental, because I'm feeling atrociously sentimental (sorry in advance).
What I was really caught up on, while I was standing backstage and watching the little world that was playing out in front of me, was a feeling.
It's the feeling of realizing you're reaching the end of something. Of realizing in a few days, or a few hours, or a few minutes, this will all be over.
But it's also a feeling of wonderful, contemplative bliss; because right now, in this moment, it's still happening.
I couldn't stop thinking about all of us: how unbelievably strange we all are, how unbelievably ridiculous we all felt in our wonderfully extravagant costumes, and how we absolutely didn't care. I remember when I was little, like most little people, I spent a whole lot of time feeling really nervous and foolish and stuck on the outside of everyone else. Now, while I'm still unarguably nervous and foolish, I've finally found a spot on the inside. With all of you.
(Those who are pictured, and those who aren't. You know who you are. ☺︎)
While I was standing backstage and overflowing with nostalgia, I kept telling myself not to forget this feeling; This overwhelming rush of love through all of me, for all of you.
Thank you for being awesome.
photography courtesy of the wonderful Felicity Audet :)