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It's alright to try "too hard"

Since starting this blog, something that has puzzled me about myself (I'm having a typical introspective moment here, bear with me) is my tendency to simultaneously strive for uniqueness all the while being terrified of judgement. I want to be and act and live uniquely, but by default, trying something unique comes with at least one person thinking you're weird. It comes with at least one person quietly chuckling (and feeling a tad superior) because of your tendency to be blissfully and ignorantly uncool. It comes with at least one person thinking to themselves, "she's trying too hard to be something she's not."





It has always sort of bugged me when people use "trying too hard" as a put-down. I think it's stupid that "trying" could ever possibly be a bad thing. If she's not going to try, how else will she discover herself? How will she do anything at all? Trying is the act of attempting things despite not being super successful or receiving tons of validation  yet. Writing a blog when you don't have many followers, for example. Sharing your artistic talents and creations with the world when you aren't yet a virtuoso. Trying to promote your own ideas, your own business, when nobody knows (or seems to care) who you are yet. Trying out new clothes, hair, or makeup when you silently wonder if it makes you look like a fool. Picking up a new hobby or skill and feeling like the only novice in a sea of beautiful experts. The act of trying is awkward and uncomfortable and mistake-ridden and messy. We often don't hear about it that much, because everyone likes to focus on the prettier result. But the trying part is as essential to success as a beginning is to an end. At the same time, though, it's pretty awful. You're too inexperienced and unknown to feel respected but you've already invested too much time and effort to feel like a sweet-little-joke.

As a person who is currently knee-deep in trying to write a blog, and as a person who likes the idea trying to invent yourself, I'm not exactly a stranger to this subject. I'm no stranger to awkwardness or trying "too hard" or trying to be something I'm not. But hey, don't we have to try to be something we aren't in order to ever become something new? Isn't that how we create who we want to be? It's not like somebody hands you an identity at birth and you can never stray from how you started out. You build who you are through a whole lot of trying. Trying new hobbies, and putting yourself "out there" when you feel like it counts, and wearing new clothes, and acting new ways. So yeah, maybe she is trying to somebody she's not. Not yet. But maybe someday that trying will become a part of who she is.


I know that effortless perfection is a common occurrence on Instagram, but in real life, everybody starts with trying. Everybody starts with being awkward, making mistakes, feeling invalid, and feeling unqualified. For some people, it may last longer than others. Sometimes, it may never fully go away. But either way, let's try a little harder to respect 'the trying'; the shameless self-promotion, the slightly-nervous networking, the "is-anyone-even-seeing-this??" content-creating.  These things may not be as impressive or as admirable as a shiny success story, and may even seem over-eager or uncool at times, but trying is the foundation on which everything is built. And if building a life that is entirely my own requires suffering through some trying and some possible uncoolness, I'm okay with that. I'd rather be someone who tries too hard than not enough.

♡ Julia










19 comments

  1. agreed. the thing with me is that i don't really take to things naturally, so if i want to be decent at anything i need to work at it for awhile. and even though i know there's nothing shameful about it, i get kind of embarrassed by how much i need to study compared to other people in school. but if i want to get good grades, i gotta get over it. just like you said(:

    http://hellokuo.blogspot.com/

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    1. I often feel the same. Some people appear like confident experts at everything they do. I am not one of those people, haha. But you're right, we just gotta keep trying :) Thanks for reading!

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  2. I absolutely LOVE this. Sometimes I refer to myself as trying to hard which is actually crazy, how can we use that as a put down... Surely it's so much better to try too hard than just care an average amount? Really enjoyed this Julia!

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

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  3. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying and working hard! Somethings don't come easy or naturally, so you do have to put the effort in sometimes to get to where you want to be xx

    Lauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

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  4. I think that we should always do our best and following our dreams!
    Mia x | my-world-vibes.blogspot.com

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  5. I absolutely agree with everything you've said!! I think that it's important to try as hard as you can to accomplish your dreams!

    http://thecourtneydiaries.com

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    1. Yeah accomplishments certainly require a whole lot of trying! :) Thanks for reading, Courtney!

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  6. Wow, this post is everything I needed! I LOVE it.
    I can't agree more. Things don't come easy!
    Lovely post <3

    Marilyn xx
    marilynnassar.wordpress.com

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  7. Great post and so true, why is trying hard a negative thing? xx

    franklyflawless.com

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  8. Aweee thank you for writing this! This post lifted me up. Thank you :')

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  9. This post is so powerful! You've got to make a mess before you know how to clean it up. Trying all about experimentation, and yeah, we make some blunders, but it's better to have tried and failed (or better yet, succeeded) than to never know.

    http://aroseisinbloom.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. Yes yes yes! That's a great way of putting it. Thanks for reading, Elizabeth!:)

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  10. I love reading posts like these, people try because they want something, or because they want to experiment with something and what's the harm in that? Does anybody really know what they're doing in life? Not really. And you've got to put yourself out there to some extent and test your boundaries to get to know yourself better!

    www.Barely There Beauty.com | British Beauty & Lifestyle blog

    xx

    ReplyDelete

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About me
I’m a 19-year old college student who’s still very much “in bluhm” (heh) but I’m figuring it out as I go, laptop in hand.
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