The freedom of change & not giving a shit // Thought of the day

Okay so I know I don't normally swear on here (I try to be positive! Uplifting!) but since today's post is about not giving a shit, I thought it would be appropriate to not give a shit about saying the word shit. I digress.

(And it will be positive and uplifting, you just wait).

Since going and coming back from college, I think I've learned a lesson or two. About p-values and Frederic Chopin and hegemonic masculinity, yes. But also about life stuff.

Here are two of those lessons:

  1. I'm supposed to be different from who I was when I was when I was fifteen. People are supposed to change. Otherwise it would be weird.
  2. I only have a given number of shits to give, and after that? Oh well. 
Allow me to elaborate.




Change is not an straight line. You can't break it down into steps. You can't illustrate it and put it on an instructional pamphlet. Instead, change doesn't tell you where you're going or make any effort to spell the process out for you at all. It just throws you around wherever it wants you to go, probably making a mess in the process.

It's only natural that you'll want to fight it at first. Nobody wants to go somewhere without being told where the heck they're heading, especially if it's somewhere they've never been before. But also, as most things are, that's just life. 

We often have a certain idea in our brains of who we are, and who we want to keep on being.  Gradually though, change comes as it always does. Soon this particular image starts to be less who you are and more who you're trying to be. And that's where I am right now. So what's the next move?

Well, I've decided to stop trying. Some things will always be a part of me, but I'm done trying to painstakingly force the things that don't want to be. I've decided to let change take me wherever the heck it wants, because embracing new stuff often ends up feeling better than squeezing into old stuff that doesn't really fit. You got me, change. I'm here and I look different and I feel different and.... wait for it....

I don't give a shit.

This brings me to number 2, which is inspired by this video (and some blog posts I've read but sorry I don't remember whose precisely) about 'fuck budgets.' The idea is that you have a limited amount things you can care about (your priorities). You care about them unashamedly without considering anybody's judgements, but at the same time, the budget only holds so much. There's some stuff that gets left out, and you just don't have room inside yourself to give a shit about it or waste your time on it. Oh well!




Here are a few examples:
  • What's in my budget? The effort I put into my blog and social media. This stuff matters to me because I want to get good at it, and I want to have some kind of future career in digital media production, etc. 
  • What's not in my budget? Caring what other people think about my blog and my social media. I'm going to go ahead posting everyday and using 500 hashtags, thank you very much. When someone asks me if I have a blog, I'll say "yeah! juliainbluhm.com, check it out!" not "oh yeah... just something I do for fun... silly me..."
  • What's in my budget? Wearing clothes and having an appearance that I love and think is cool. 
  • What's not in my budget? Caring about if my legs look huge when I wear pants or shorter skirts. Or being worried that I "can't pull something off." Or being self conscious about my acne showing through my makeup.
  • What's in my budget? Eating and being healthy so that I feel like a girlboss who can punch some tanks (a Wonder woman inside joke) or do some pirouettes or hike a mountain. 
  • What's not in my budget? Trying to look like Taylor Swift or Ulyana Lopatkina (a Russian ballet dancer) or my friend who weighs 20 pounds less than me or my favorite drop-dead-gorgeous blogger. 
  • What's in my budget? Being caring and honest and aggressively supportive around my caring and honest and aggressively supportive friends. 
  •  What's not in my budget? Giggling/ passively agreeing/ white-lying to get out of awkward and uncomfortable conversations with patronizing people. You said something offensive or judgy or condescending or wrong? You pass off my accomplishments and the things I care about as being vapid or sappy or unsuccessful? I will fight you. With grace, of course. But I will tell you what I think nonetheless. 
Alright blogger friends, those are my latest realizations and/or things that I no longer give a shit about. It's very freeing, I must say. I would highly encourage all of you to make a "budget" of your own if you haven't already (and then try to put it into action!). If any of you have written posts like this before, I'd love to read them! I know I saw several "fuck budget" posts floating around the blogosphere. ;)

♡ Julia

36 comments

  1. I'm in love with this post! It's so encouraging to read it and I'm a big fan of "fuck budget". Thanks for inspiration. :)

    Have a nice day,
    Lucie

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    1. Thank YOU for reading. (I'm a big fan of it too)

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  2. Oh I really like your coordinate~ Your pants are really cute.
    xx

    www.sakuranko.com

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  3. Damn girl I loved this post!! It was so empowering and even for myself I need these reminders. "When someone asks me if I have a blog, I'll say "yeah! juliainbluhm.com, check it out!" not "oh yeah... just something I do for fun... silly me..." - this is definitely the best thing ever! Your blog and especially your writing is amazing so you have every right to be loud and proud about it! Btw, I love your photos and the outfit is so casual yet chic <3

    Stacey, thebambieyes.com

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    1. Yes!! Thanks so much, Stacey! And yea we should always be proud of our blogs. Who cares what other people think. :) Thank you!

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  4. I have so much love for this post!!!! I agree on every.single.thing. Stay true to yourself and don't care about what other people think about you. Have a lovely Sunday babe!

    Love, Layla Rosita | www.laylarosita.com 

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    1. Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading, Layla!

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  5. Love this! I recently read The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck and it was incredible - and definitely changed my life a little bit

    - Natalie
    www.workovereasy.com

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    1. I'm gonna have to read that, it sounds very intriguing. Thanks for reading, Natalie!

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  6. Love this post. You're right, we shouldn't stress about the things we can't control. It's so much better to do what we love and leave all the worry behind.

    www.fashionradi.com

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    1. So true! I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading!

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  7. Great post and the outfit is too cute!! So comfy and chic!!
    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POST: MY MOMENTS....

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  8. I freaking love this post and it's admirable to have such strong and positive thoughts at your young age! Good on you and as I always say, you do you and f*ck the world.

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    1. Thank you Shireen! That's so nice :)

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  9. I LOVE THIS! #2 is something I reference a lot and learning to make a budget is so important! Such a great post!

    - Danielle | daringlydani.wixsite.com/dragongirl

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  10. Oh my jesus so I know we have the same name but this post felt like I could have written it, I could relate on so many levels! I'm completely at that point as well now, I am so tired of trying to keep up with the image I have for myself that I really want to take a lot from this post and not give a shit. I mean it's like you said, I only have a number of shits to give! (<that felt weird to type...haha)

    Julia // www.thesundaymode.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Julia! Haha, I'm so glad you could relate. It is super tiring and now worth our time to keep up with what everyone else has to say. And yes the whole thing felt kinda weird to type ;)

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  11. Love this, lady- this is such an important lesson many don't learn until they're much older!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  12. Haha, I haven't seen any blog posts about "fuck budgets" yet but I'm glad to have read this one. After you grow older and spend time away from toxic/insecure people (typically found in high school and college), you start to realize that no one cares about the size of your legs, etc, and that's when you can really start living freely and not giving a shit ;) Glad you got to that realization!! Free yourself, girl! :)

    Kim
    Simply Lovebirds

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    1. Thank you Kim! And yes it's so true

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  13. I love this. I haven't tried the "budget" and I thought I need to do one. It's fun to not giving shit and I love how it develops us. Thanks for sharing!

    PS: I honestly think you look glam on your photos.

    Love, Fads
    InstagramTwitter

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    1. Aw thank you! And yes, try it! It's fun to write.

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  14. Amen, girl! I love this post and your new found attitude. You should care about the things that matter to you and especially be proud of your blog. We need to stop wasting time on things that don't deserve our time :)

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Exactly, Leta! And thank you, ahahh

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  15. Great idea for a post, I've been thinking the same recently and change is good, we always grow as a person but I def no longer care what people think about me anymore, I've realised whether you are doing good or bad people will always have something to say x

    S x
    SHELISES WORLD

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    1. That's all so true! People will always have something to say, and we can never control it. Might as well pay attention to other things :)

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  16. I love how you put it in to terms of a budget. Quite an empowering post! x

    LAURA ­| Laura Thinks About

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  17. Love this post! I should try to give less shits too but it sometimes quite hard. I still keep my blog a secret from my friends and relatives, just a handful of people know about it, and it mainly is because I´m scared they´ll think its awful or that I am waisting my time.

    Vanessa x | www.springlilies.com

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    1. Girl, I felt the same way. But then when I did share it with my friends and family, I got an overwhelmingly positive and supportive response. A lot of people actually thought it was cool. So you never know for sure... sometimes our brains jump to conclusions. Best of luck :)

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  18. Oh I love the empowerment in this post! YES! Such a good reminder that it's okey to change, in fact, it'd be weird not to change. When you strive to become a better person you change and that is awesome! Thank you! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  19. Great post! thanks for the inspiration
    Gros bisous

    http://gallech.blogspot.com

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  20. I absolutely love this post Julia, it sounds like something I need to put more thought into, I'm going to work on my budget this afternoon :)

    Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
    My Instagram | Instagram

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  21. Your view on budgeting is badass Julia! I love this post! Gives me a lot of courage, actually! xo

    with love, Jordyn | jordynpamela.com

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